The Scully Song
by Sara Abigail
Summary: After a long, emotional day at work, Scully wanders into a bar...and discovers something slightly disturbing. Also, she learns the hard way the cold medicine and long meetings don't mix well.


Hi! So this is my first X-files fanfic. I'd planned for the move into writing things for this fandom to be a little more...I don't know haha, just not this. But I just couldn't resist after hearing The Scully Song for the first time last night. And so you get this.

Discliamer: I do not own The X-Files, or the Lyrics to the song written here. I know, it's such a shame.

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Scully drags herself into the bar near her apartment. The day has taken it's toll on her, and she figures a stiff drink will help with dealing with it. She smiles at the bartender, snatching a seat at the bar. There's a room next door with music flowing out of it, and people clapping and cheering but Scully ignores it. She's not in the mood for company tonight.

Sipping on her drink, Scully's mind drifts to the day's events. Of course she and Mulder had been in danger again. What else is new, she asks herself with an inward snort. One of them is always in danger these days it seems. Another perk of working on the x-files, she thinks.

This time though, it was Mulder who almost...she can't even bring herself to think it. Her eyes close, and she can see him lying there, lifeless. She downs the rest of her drink and quickly orders another one. Thank God she'd gotten there in time, before the beast they were chasing managed to...she gulps down half of her drink.

Deciding she needs a distraction, she grabs her glass and wanders over to where the music was playing. The singer is speaking to the audience now, and as Scully gets closer, she swears she recognizes the voice. Reaching the doorway, her eyes confirm what her ears have already told her. Scully chokes on her drink.

The man on stage is Assistant Director Walter Skinner.

He's sitting at the piano, half of his body hidden behind it, but it is most definitely him. She's so shocked to see him there it takes her a few minutes to register what he is saying.

"And so, I wrote this song about my true love, and, uh, she's not here tonight to hear it, but I don't think she'd be too embarrassed to know that you...you heard it. I hope you enjoy these sweet sentiments of my love," Skinner tells the crowd, before beginning to play the instrument in front of him.

Scully should probably leave, he'd be embarrassed to know she was there. But she just can't make herself look away, like watching a train wreck. As he starts to sing, Scully reiterates that statement. A professional singer Skinner is not.

"There's a woman, I'm in love with her it seems. A red headed beauty who inhabits all my dreams."

Scully freezes. Did he just say red headed?

"She is the object of my infatuation. She works for the Federal Bureau of Investigation."

Oh God.

"Oh my Scully, agent Scully. When will you be mine? You're cold and analytical and that's just fine. I love my Scully and I guess it's time I told her. I'll be with her someday even if it means I have to kill Mulder."

All Scully can do is stare open mouthed as she watches Skinner belt this out. There is no way he actually feels this way about her, right? Oh God.

"She's seen spaceships and little green men. Yet if you ask her she'll say she doesn't believe in them. She always saves Mulder's butt when he screws up a maneuver. She's the prettiest FBI agent in skirts since J. Edgar Hoover. Oh my Scully, agent Scully. You are my one true love. As beautiful as an angel or an alien from above. When you yell "Freeze FBI!" it makes me shake and quiver. You've conquered monsters and beasts that are covered with goo and mucus, who have abilities to change their skeletal structures and slide in through key holes and kill you and then eat your liver." Skinner breathes deeply after singing the last part. He keeps his head facing the piano, therefore giving him no chance of noticing Scully standing at the back, her jaw still on the floor.

His voice gets louder as he sings the bridge. "You've been stung by bees that gave you the plague. The aliens kidnapped you and harvested your eggs. The government gave you cancer but gave you the antidote too. The truth is out there and the truth is I love you!"

Scully's gathered herself enough to decide she's going to murder him the next time she gets her hands on him. "Not embarrassed if you hear this" my ass, she thinks angrily.

"Oh my Scully, agent Scully. Your monotone turns me on. You can do an autopsy while firing your gun! You're hair and make up looks great even while you're saving the world! Mulder gets at least once every year but it's getting so old that we really don't care, but our Scully she's always alive and she's well and I know someday she'll be my secret agent girl. Oh my Scully-"

"Scully?"

Someone's shaking her. It takes her a minute to realize it's Mulder. Opening her eyes, she takes in her surroundings. A table. Chairs. People. A bunch of people, now all looking at her strangely. Then she remembers. The meeting. In Skinner's office.

"You awake there, Scully? You were snoring pretty loud," Mulder tells her. Scully feels her face heat up in embarrassment.

"It's the damn cough medicine," She whispers, sniffling softly. Against her better judgment, she'd gone to work with her cold, instead of calling in sick, mainly because of this meeting. Now, who knows how long she'd been sleeping through it.

"I apologize if we're too boring for you, Agent Scully," Skinner reprimands her. Looking in his direction, it's all she can do to keep from laughing, the Skinner from her bizarre dream in the forefront of her mind. A chuckle manages to escape, and Skinner's frown deepens. "Something funny, Agent Scully?"

Her name from his lips is almost enough to set her off again, but she ends up keeping it together long enough to shake her head. As the meeting resumes, Mulder leans over to whisper in her ear. "What was that about?"

Scully grins. "I'll tell you later," she says, knowing he'll get just as big a kick out of it as she is. He nods and both return to the meeting, Scully determined to stay awake for the rest of it. Who knows what could happen if she falls asleep again, maybe it'll be the smoking man declaring his love for her next. She groans inwardly. The next time she takes cough medicine, she's staying home.


End file.
